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Saturday, December 24, 2011

An Illogical Horror


            Recently, I arrived at long-term parking at the Central Illinois Regional Airport.  Given the abundance of open, flat space in Bloomington, Illinois, this lot is free to all travelers.  For a young man whose most frequented airports lie are Philadelphia, O’Hare, and Newark (NJ), this is a financial boon that never ceases to amaze.  Of course, the price paid for such a fiscal convenience is that one often has limited flexibility regarding the times of flights.  Having purchased a ticket on a 6:45 AM flight, my day began at 4AM in Champaign, replete with fog-covered highways without streetlights and a check-engine light which appeared at the ideal moment to induce maximum terror.  The prospect of immobility in a place where literally, “no one can hear you scream,” at an hour during which the number of cars passed on the roadways could be counted using only my carpal and tarsal digits had one fringe benefit.  While typically, 60 miles through nowhere would induce a level of boredom demanding the most engaging of music and conversation (even without a passenger…yes…I have spoken to myself for extended periods in a car to stave off Midwestern-scenery-induced hypnosis), the adrenaline-soaked concern for missing my flight or worse was sufficient to fix my attention.
            Upon parking my car, now borderline delirious with some amalgam of relief and early-morning stupor, as this was still an hour before sunrise, I began to walk towards the airport.  Roughly forty yards from my car, as is my routine, I touch my hands to the outside of my jean pockets, to verify that they contain my wallet, my keys, and my cellular phone.  They do not.  My phone is unaccounted for.  I am now almost as terrified and helpless as I had been in the car minutes before despite the distinct difference between the two situations.  Firstly, let us note that I had placed a cell-phone call from my automobile en route.  At worst, my phone is located in my car.  Secondly, my car is a mere thirty-seconds of walking away from my current location.  Despite this, my brain processes the possibility of a two-flight journey followed by a car ride without the opportunity to communicate with my fiancée or my parents.  How will they know to pick me up?  How will they know if I have made my flight?  How can I possibly prevent their inevitable angst at my perceived inconsideration and irresponsibility followed by their crippling concern about my welfare?  How will I find sufficient pay phones – are there even pay phones to be found?  I have no quarters on me!  I don’t carry a calling card anymore!  Surely someone at the desk at an airport will know what I can do…
            The proximity of my phone (which was sitting between the seat and the door in the car) notwithstanding, the true comedy here is that I received my first cellular phone within the last dozen years, and it has only been within the last six years that it has become my sole means of communication.  My generation has come to view the world differently.  One evening, standing before perhaps twenty of my students at a review session, I asked, via a show of hands, if any of them had a land-line telephone in their dorm or apartment.  Zero hands were raised.  I, and another teaching assistant were also present, both of us in our twenties, and neither of us in possession of a landline.  I have been a financially-independent adult for five or six years.  I have paid rent in five apartment buildings.  I have never owned a landline phone since my collegiate dorm room.  Thus, to me, to my contemporaries, to my generation as a whole, the ability to contact and be contacted by anyone and everyone in our lives is fully decoupled from the state of “being home.”  They are as unrelated as hunting and cooking – two activities that once seemed inextricably linked.  The fact is, life is wholly livable in a modern society without cellular phones.  In 1995, boarding airplanes and traveling around the USA was no less ubiquitous than it is today…and only the very, very wealthy were carrying cell phones.  Now, the notion of lacking communication capacity is foreign, and as is often the case with foreign states of being, terrifying.
            Thus, in the darkened, foggy, Midwestern parking lot, I stood, like Kurtz on his death bed, left to hear the voice in my own idiotic head, “the horror, the horror!”

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